Envy

I am almost 54 years old and sometimes I feel like a two and half year old saying, "I want, I want, its mine, I want it." When will I grow out of it, when will I mature, when will I be content, when will I learn?

The things I want aren't necessary and sometimes aren't even objects. I want decent affordable portable medical insurance so I'm not tied to my current job. I want a great backyard patio without mosquitos or overuse of chemicals, I want a canoe, I want more books, I want more time to read books, I want more people with whom to talk about books,I want new bedding, I want a new refrigerator with an ice-maker, I want to be debt free, I want, I want, I want.....

And then I start seeing what other people have and I want even more. This person's house is always clean and organized, this person has the library of my dreams, this person has a houseboat, this person got a huge bonus at work, this person has travelled so much more than me.. I want, I want, I want......

Aristotle says, "Envy is pain at the good fortune of others."

In the book, The Geography of Bliss, the writer, Joseph Epstein, is quoted from his writing on envy as saying, "Once unleashed, envy tends to diminish all in whom it takes possession."

And the Bible, in Proverbs 14:30, "A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh but envy makes the bones rot."

Strong words.

Envy. It is a beast that lurks within and must be guarded against. I know better. I have no excuse.

The Seven Year Old List

In 2007 I made a list of things to get done around the house--our current house. In its entirety, the list had six items on it, as follows:

1. fix stucco
2. fix brick in front
3. paint foyer
4. clean carpets and rugs
5. remove mildew and paint basement
6. clean attic

Six years later, I have crossed off one item, number four. We have paid someone else to clean the carpets and rugs (a few times). Either this is a list of herculean proportions that no one in their right mind could finish in six years or I am the laziest home owner in Red Wing.

I've met people that accomplish this much stuff in a weekend and still do laundry and cook their own food. You might be tempted to think that I've accomplished other things that have put me off the above list--perhaps another more global list:

1. achieve inner peace
2. achieve world peace

But, clearly, I haven't done that either.

So what have I been doing these past six years? Well, in my defense, I think a person shouldn't hurry up their laundry and their cooking all in one weekend--life is too short, spread it out over two weekends, heck, take a month. Then there's the kitchen clean up, the reading of the paper, putting gas in the car and work. All in all, the time has flown. Oh yeah, and throw in a heck of a lot of good times with family and friends, so many good books and music and a bit of dancing and traveling.

The house is still standing and who knows, we'll probably knock another thing off the list in the next six years