I'm not sure how I stumbled onto the website www.ship-of-fools.com but I've been having a great time exploring it. In the about us section, the editor says, "Our aim is to help Christians be self-critical and honest about the failings of Christianity, as we believe honesty can only strengthen faith."
The site has people volunteer as Mystery Worshippers--they go to different worship services, leave a Ship of Fools business card in the offering plate and then fill out and post a pretty extensive survey about the service. The review includes a physical description of the church, the comfortableness (or lack thereof) of the seating, the first words of the service, the content of the sermon and the quality of the speaker, what was most heaven-like and what was most like the opposite place of heaven. The review even includes the coffee after the service (or tea as the site originates in the UK).
The Mystery Worshipper reviews that I read covered all kinds of denominations and sizes and types of services. It was interesting to get a knowledgeable visitors opinion. The business card is left in the offering plate so the congregation can go online and see the review on-line.
Another favorite part of Ship of Fools is the Gadgets for God--the store with some hilarious gifts. Some of my favorites are the post rapture greeting cards that say things like, "You should have listened to Jesus": the Mormon doorknocker--designed to save wear and tear on the missionaries knuckles; the holy trinity Lego set featuring the father, son and a perfect child's rendition of a ghost--holy or otherwise. There is also a bible that has a flame that shoots out of the top so you can impress tepid listeners with the "fiery" words of God. And how much fun could you have with your own inflatable church--its 47 feet tall! A great gift for that seminary bound college student.
Ship of Fools also actually reports on news relevant to the worldwide Christian church and has a lively discussion area. I haven't spent (wasted) near enough time at this site yet. I haven't ordered anything yet either though I love the snarkiness of the "You should have listened to Jesus" cards. They're right at my maturity level.
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Sunday, September 26, 2010
my Superhero
Today we celebrated my mom's 75th birthday with a surprise party. Her birthday was on September 13th so I've had a couple of weeks to think about this (about 50 years actually).
My mom fell in love with my dad when they were both very young. They got married and had kids. My mom grew up and accepted the responsibility while her husband (my dad) seemed determined to destroy himself and he wasn't too concerned about the collateral damage to his family. My mom kept plugging along, getting some help from her family, friends and government but doing the day to day worrying and drudgery on her own.
She worked as a nurse's aid, ironed other peoples clothes, babysat, negotiated with people that were owed money and stretched dollars farther than you would have thought they could be stretched. She then went to nursing school--and studied really, really hard, while continuing to do all the other things because her husband was still a mess and she was still the only support for her kids.
And while all of this had to be really hard, and tiresome, and sometimes seemingly impossible--the thing that makes it really incredible is that she did it without rancor or complaint. Without benefit of parenting books, classes, Oprah, Dr. Phil and all the other gurus of raising children, living your life, and other topics of pop psychology--my mom just did it. When things were bad with my dad, she would tell me to remember the good times and that he loved us very much. She didn't excuse him and she didn't talk bad about him. She loved him with a fierceness that enabled her to stay by his side long enough for him to overcome his self-destructive life and they got to have so many more good times.
She wasn't the type of parent who praised us for everything we did right because that would just be silliness--but we knew she was proud of us and loved us. I remember that once, for Christmas, she gave me a pair of leather ski mittens that I had really wanted. They cost about $20 which was expensive, so she told me that I had to use them for a long time. I kept and used them for about 25 years. I can't say I always listened to her that diligently but she did have a certain no-nonsense attitude that reinforced her words.
My mom is a little over five feet tall, has white hair, wire rimmed glasses and the kind face of kind person. She doesn't look like Hollywood's version of a superhero but she's been mine for a long time now. Don't mess with her--she'll either walk away because you're not worth the trouble or she'll stay and win because you are worth it, like she did with us.
My mom fell in love with my dad when they were both very young. They got married and had kids. My mom grew up and accepted the responsibility while her husband (my dad) seemed determined to destroy himself and he wasn't too concerned about the collateral damage to his family. My mom kept plugging along, getting some help from her family, friends and government but doing the day to day worrying and drudgery on her own.
She worked as a nurse's aid, ironed other peoples clothes, babysat, negotiated with people that were owed money and stretched dollars farther than you would have thought they could be stretched. She then went to nursing school--and studied really, really hard, while continuing to do all the other things because her husband was still a mess and she was still the only support for her kids.
And while all of this had to be really hard, and tiresome, and sometimes seemingly impossible--the thing that makes it really incredible is that she did it without rancor or complaint. Without benefit of parenting books, classes, Oprah, Dr. Phil and all the other gurus of raising children, living your life, and other topics of pop psychology--my mom just did it. When things were bad with my dad, she would tell me to remember the good times and that he loved us very much. She didn't excuse him and she didn't talk bad about him. She loved him with a fierceness that enabled her to stay by his side long enough for him to overcome his self-destructive life and they got to have so many more good times.
She wasn't the type of parent who praised us for everything we did right because that would just be silliness--but we knew she was proud of us and loved us. I remember that once, for Christmas, she gave me a pair of leather ski mittens that I had really wanted. They cost about $20 which was expensive, so she told me that I had to use them for a long time. I kept and used them for about 25 years. I can't say I always listened to her that diligently but she did have a certain no-nonsense attitude that reinforced her words.
My mom is a little over five feet tall, has white hair, wire rimmed glasses and the kind face of kind person. She doesn't look like Hollywood's version of a superhero but she's been mine for a long time now. Don't mess with her--she'll either walk away because you're not worth the trouble or she'll stay and win because you are worth it, like she did with us.
Saturday, September 18, 2010
the Fun of Statistics
According to a Gallup Poll thirty-eight percent of Americans report that they believe it is morally wrong to engage in premarital intercourse. However, depending on which study you use, 90-95% of people have sex before they get married.
For some kind of juvenile reason, I love these kind of statistics.
Another favorite is that the Red Sates (aka Republican, protector of family values) have the highest rates of on-line pornography usage. How can that not make you chuckle?
And divorce rates are highest in conservative Fundamentalist churches (where the women obey the men etc...!)
And Utah has one of the highest rates of white collar crime--because the Mormons trust other Mormons so much --but apparently some of them aren't as honest as the clean cut image would have you believe.
When the "high and mighty" or self-appointed judges of the rest of us fall short--it makes me happy. I want to say, "nana, nana booboo".
But, I'd hate to seem less mature than my 50 plus years should have made me. Josh Billings, a humorist and writer, second only to Mark Twain in the late 1800's, wrote "I don't never have any trouble in regulating my own conduct, but to keep other folks' straight is what bothers me." Clearly, Mr. Billings could have been talking about me and a lot of other people. Still, makes me chuckle but I'm aiming for a more mature sounding chuckle.
For some kind of juvenile reason, I love these kind of statistics.
Another favorite is that the Red Sates (aka Republican, protector of family values) have the highest rates of on-line pornography usage. How can that not make you chuckle?
And divorce rates are highest in conservative Fundamentalist churches (where the women obey the men etc...!)
And Utah has one of the highest rates of white collar crime--because the Mormons trust other Mormons so much --but apparently some of them aren't as honest as the clean cut image would have you believe.
When the "high and mighty" or self-appointed judges of the rest of us fall short--it makes me happy. I want to say, "nana, nana booboo".
But, I'd hate to seem less mature than my 50 plus years should have made me. Josh Billings, a humorist and writer, second only to Mark Twain in the late 1800's, wrote "I don't never have any trouble in regulating my own conduct, but to keep other folks' straight is what bothers me." Clearly, Mr. Billings could have been talking about me and a lot of other people. Still, makes me chuckle but I'm aiming for a more mature sounding chuckle.
the DREAM Act
Lately I've been thinking a lot about immigrants--mainly people who come from Mexico. I just finished a book, "Just Like Us" by Helen Thorpe. The author followed four Mexican teenage girls through their senior year of high school and then through four years of college. Two of the girls were in the US legally and two were not, though they had been here for most of their lives.
The book was excellent in identifying how complicated an issue this is. In the girl's families, it wasn't unusual for some of their siblings to be American citizens; for a parent to be deported--leaving the children here in turmoil; to graduate at the top of your class yet not be eligible for any scholarship or financial aid; not be able to fly on any commercial airline or rent a car or rent a movie or get a fishing license or anything else that requires a state issued ID--the list goes on and on.
What really struck me is that these girls excelled in school, they were accepted for admission to University of Denver (not an easy school to get into) and the three that went there graduated in four years (the fourth girl went to a different university)--but the two that are here illegally now have very few options.
These girls were both brought here illegally by one or both of their parents as small children and have been here since. But as the law stands now there is no way for them to become citizens. Congress is considering a bill that addresses this--it is called the DREAM Act. It provides a path for citizenship for aliens that were brought here as minors, have been here for five or more continuous years, have graduated from high school (or GED), have good moral character and have completed at least two years in higher education or armed forces.
DREAM stands for Development, Relief and Education for Alien Minors Act. I don't know how to address all the issues of immigration--but I do think this is a step in the right direction.
The book was excellent in identifying how complicated an issue this is. In the girl's families, it wasn't unusual for some of their siblings to be American citizens; for a parent to be deported--leaving the children here in turmoil; to graduate at the top of your class yet not be eligible for any scholarship or financial aid; not be able to fly on any commercial airline or rent a car or rent a movie or get a fishing license or anything else that requires a state issued ID--the list goes on and on.
What really struck me is that these girls excelled in school, they were accepted for admission to University of Denver (not an easy school to get into) and the three that went there graduated in four years (the fourth girl went to a different university)--but the two that are here illegally now have very few options.
These girls were both brought here illegally by one or both of their parents as small children and have been here since. But as the law stands now there is no way for them to become citizens. Congress is considering a bill that addresses this--it is called the DREAM Act. It provides a path for citizenship for aliens that were brought here as minors, have been here for five or more continuous years, have graduated from high school (or GED), have good moral character and have completed at least two years in higher education or armed forces.
DREAM stands for Development, Relief and Education for Alien Minors Act. I don't know how to address all the issues of immigration--but I do think this is a step in the right direction.
Monday, March 1, 2010
Pay for your pleasure
I was going to file this under personal preferences but the more I think about it, the more I realize that it is a much bigger issue than that. The topic is one that divides communities with arguably good people on both sides, for or against. Some think its harmless or even good for people. Some think its a matter of choice and while they may or may not approve, declare that what people do in the privacy of their own home is nobody else's business.
Poppycock!! I probably used to be one of those people but the events of the past year have changed my mind. Now I think its time that laws are enacted and vigorously enforced. If you are going to be involved in this you have to suffer the consequences, you have to go into with full knowledge that it is not victimless, that someone will have to pay for your "pleasure".
I'm talking, of course, of wall paper. As I spend hours scraping wallpaper off the walls of the kitchen, I've been devising all sorts of legislation against wallpaper and the people who insist on putting it up. The fairest I can come up with is that if you put it up, you must agree to take it down. I don't care how cute it looks, how darling it is, how it "makes" the room---all wallpaper has to come down someday and usually the people who put it up are no where to be found. Ha, how convenient.
Alright, I'm done ranting--I obviously didn't give that up for Lent. If you're in town and bored, come on by and help out. I've got plenty of beer and vodka.
Poppycock!! I probably used to be one of those people but the events of the past year have changed my mind. Now I think its time that laws are enacted and vigorously enforced. If you are going to be involved in this you have to suffer the consequences, you have to go into with full knowledge that it is not victimless, that someone will have to pay for your "pleasure".
I'm talking, of course, of wall paper. As I spend hours scraping wallpaper off the walls of the kitchen, I've been devising all sorts of legislation against wallpaper and the people who insist on putting it up. The fairest I can come up with is that if you put it up, you must agree to take it down. I don't care how cute it looks, how darling it is, how it "makes" the room---all wallpaper has to come down someday and usually the people who put it up are no where to be found. Ha, how convenient.
Alright, I'm done ranting--I obviously didn't give that up for Lent. If you're in town and bored, come on by and help out. I've got plenty of beer and vodka.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Giving up Gin
School kids giving up gum, a party girl giving up drinking, not playing on the computer for 40 days, no meat on Fridays (except fish of course)-- minor inconveniences really. Nothing compared to giving your life for another--which is what the sacrifice in Easter is all about--but I think God understands that we are still the foolish and weak people that Abraham and Moses had to deal with. Just as any parent gladly accepts the bouquet of dandelions from their child, so God accepts our simple attempt to show our intention for Lent.
Its Ash Wednesday today, the beginning of Lent. People are talking about what they're going to give up--I always find it interesting to hear the variety of ideas people have about it. From true sacrifice to flippant throwaways, people of all ages and religious affiliations seem to respond to the call of the church to deny ourselves of something to prepare for the Easter season.
I realize that many people don't understand the meaning behind the "What are you giving up for Lent?" question but answer it anyway and I think that God appreciates the uneducated, unsophisticated, and sometimes puny attempts at sacrifice. He also recognizes the heartfelt desire of some people to walk the road of self-denial and sacrifice through Lent and meets them on their journey as well.
In my mind, that is one of God's greatest gifts--He takes us each where we are, takes our gifts such as they are, and loves us all equally. Now if we could only do the same for each other.
Its Ash Wednesday today, the beginning of Lent. People are talking about what they're going to give up--I always find it interesting to hear the variety of ideas people have about it. From true sacrifice to flippant throwaways, people of all ages and religious affiliations seem to respond to the call of the church to deny ourselves of something to prepare for the Easter season.
I realize that many people don't understand the meaning behind the "What are you giving up for Lent?" question but answer it anyway and I think that God appreciates the uneducated, unsophisticated, and sometimes puny attempts at sacrifice. He also recognizes the heartfelt desire of some people to walk the road of self-denial and sacrifice through Lent and meets them on their journey as well.
In my mind, that is one of God's greatest gifts--He takes us each where we are, takes our gifts such as they are, and loves us all equally. Now if we could only do the same for each other.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Several years ago, the pastors at our church experimented with putting printed copies of their sermons in the narthex each Sunday-if you were so inclined you could pick up a copy and take it home. My kids were young then so I had an easy excuse for my short attention span--I loved having the option of the printed sermon to take home and read later in the day or week--especially if it sounded like a "good" one.
This is probably the only reason I specifically remember one particular sermon, given by Eric Burtness-at least 12-14 years ago. He said that God gives us "credit" for the things we don't say, the sins we consider but don't commit--in essence, God appreciates when He sees us trying to do the right thing.
This has given me a lot of comfort because my mind is an appalling place a lot of the time. I am stunned at how unrelentingly petty I can be--out loud but even more so, in my mind. Though I have no reason to be, it seems I'm stuck on hyper-critical most of the time. Fortunately, I'm usually able to hold my tongue--well... more than half the time anyway.
I have opinions on just about everything, even if I know nothing about the subject--for example women's fashions, dairy farming, how you're raising your children, foreign policy, the kind of car you should or shouldn't buy, shoes, health care decisions, religion, etc. The list is endless.
So--I'm glad to know that God recognizes that I am trying when I just think things but don't say them because I know they'll be hurtful, unnecessary or just plain stupid. Call me shallow or call me immature, but I'm glad I'm earning that gold star. Or better yet, don't call me anything, keep it to yourself and earn a gold star for yourself too.
This is probably the only reason I specifically remember one particular sermon, given by Eric Burtness-at least 12-14 years ago. He said that God gives us "credit" for the things we don't say, the sins we consider but don't commit--in essence, God appreciates when He sees us trying to do the right thing.
This has given me a lot of comfort because my mind is an appalling place a lot of the time. I am stunned at how unrelentingly petty I can be--out loud but even more so, in my mind. Though I have no reason to be, it seems I'm stuck on hyper-critical most of the time. Fortunately, I'm usually able to hold my tongue--well... more than half the time anyway.
I have opinions on just about everything, even if I know nothing about the subject--for example women's fashions, dairy farming, how you're raising your children, foreign policy, the kind of car you should or shouldn't buy, shoes, health care decisions, religion, etc. The list is endless.
So--I'm glad to know that God recognizes that I am trying when I just think things but don't say them because I know they'll be hurtful, unnecessary or just plain stupid. Call me shallow or call me immature, but I'm glad I'm earning that gold star. Or better yet, don't call me anything, keep it to yourself and earn a gold star for yourself too.
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